Monday night Zach’s right eye started swelling up. I was not really that concerned. I mean the boy had just wandered in drinking his sippy cup while wearing my black work flats – he totally could have tripped. But I was suprised that I did not hear him go down or the aftermath of the fall. Alex tries to get worried (that is his job) but I just make a “pffft” noise and put Zach to bed. One caveat – I did go check on him once he was sleeping thinking that perhaps his eye was swelling becuase his brain was swelling. What? Where do I get this?
I was sure the next morning it was going to be swollen shut, but it was just the same puffiness. Anyway, off the doc we went, me in my work makeup and clothes to find out that Zach has pink eye and I will not be going to work for a few days. At least. Well this is just awesome. No, really I did think it was awesome!
In my heart of hearts I am constantly sure that I am meant to be a stay at home mom. I mean I love to cook and bake, I craft, I sing, I read books about games to do – how could I NOT be? Well let me tell you all it takes is two days with my child and I am reminded that no, I am a working mom. Well, a part-time working mom. And I love it.
I am just not cut out for the stress of entertaining and teaching my child all day. I have such high expections of myself – well of his school and I just know that his school is doing a much better job than me. We didn’t do art or music class these past two days. We went to the vet and to lunch and to the park until I wanted to die and had to hussle him home. I keep wishing and thinking that someday I am going to become a SAHM but I am just not cut out for it. I need to keep my day job.