He’s always Alex to me

One thing that has struck me recently is how odd it is that Alex is now “Daddy”. I mean yes, he is technically his Zachary’s father and all but this is Alex, the guy I have known for 10 years. I feel like we are still 22 and just playing house. Especially when he is taking out the trash or when we watch him mow the lawn (yes, we, Zach and I watch him mow the lawn and wave. The entire time.) I have seen Alex drunk and silly, serious and sad, and all phases in between. When I look at Alex that is what I see. Or I see the person that is driving me crazy at any given moment.

Back to my original point – It was strange enough to start thinking of Alex as my husband when we got married. That took a few work parties and such to get used to the sound of it. You would think after 18 months of calling him Daddy with Zach I would be used to it. But it has really just been in the past 2 months that Zach has confirmed who that blond guy living in our house is. And oh how Zach loves to talk about his Daddy. “A Daddy?” (translated to where is Daddy?) is a constant refrain around our house. Then when Alex is in the room he likes to point at him and confirm “Daddy?” like perhaps he was mistaken the 800 other times he asked if that was his father. I feel my fidelity is challenged by my son.

So each day we talk, sing, point and yell about Daddy. And when Daddy comes in the door, oh the joy that is in our house! I will be posting a video later this week of what occurs. But I just can not help thinking, he is not my Daddy, (the name I still call my father) he is Zach’s Daddy and it is just weird, weird, weird. Am I making any sense? I feel like I am in some sort of strange mom-land and someone needs to tell me that I am NOT crazy…anyone? anyone?

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