I have been MIA for four weeks and not one of you submitted my photo to the news and started a search party. I am insulted. I thought I was more to you than words on the Internet. My #1 reader (my dad) did finally email me to ask if the blog had moved.

Wait, am I being overly dramatic again? You know you missed that.

Well, instead of rehashing the entire month you missed, I will give you the highlights to bring you up to speed.

1. I now have a five year old. Zach had a super fun ninja party at a local gym, complete with nun-chucks and ninja belts. So far, I am really enjoying five vs. four year olds. Less whining; more getting fully dressed on his own and smidge more patience with his brother.

2. I got totally busted, by Alex, for my James is not impressed series on Facebook and Instagram. Alex’s friends kept telling him how funny it was (thank you) and how serious James is. Since Alex does not understand social media and cringes at that phrase, it caught him totally off guard. I know I have read him those posts in the past, but he didn’t understand the full magnitude. Image explaining a meme to your granddad. That is Alex’s level of understanding on anything technical and/or Internet-wise. Anyway, he was not pleased with me, to say the least. He felt I talking negatively about our kids. You guys know he doesn’t read this blog. And while I wanted to roll my eyes, he is, technically, James’ father and, I suppose I should, technically, respect his opinion. Plus, James is getting more impressed and is now overly animated, so my materially was being ruined anyway. I have retired the James is not impressed tagline. Though I will be doing one full rundown here on the blog for posterity’s sake.

I mean, look at this photo.

I can’t possibly make this stuff up.

3. I am now 36. No further comment.

4. Alex and I spent New Year’s Eve in New York City, even getting to see the ball drop.

The boys stayed with the Walls and got to stay up late, eat ice cream and swim, inside, almost every day. Alex and I got to spend time together, not eat dinner at 5:30 and pretend we were young again. However, New Year’s Day after drinking and dancing into the wee hours it was very apparent we are not. Please refer to #3 above. My Aunt Vickie, Uncle Rick and cousins Stephanie, Brett and Matthew were there, making NYE even more fun.